What Resilience Abroad Has Taught Me (So Far)

Do what’s right for you; don’t seek permission, but remember to take responsibility for whatever the outcome.  

This is a mantra I’ve come to live by, especially after facing multiple crossroads in my life.

The Turning Point: Embracing Change After Forty

The saying “life begins at forty” might seem cliché, but for me, it couldn’t be truer. It was in my forties that my life took a sharp turn, and everything I thought I knew about myself and the world around me was challenged.

In my forties, I faced more challenges than I could have ever imagined, some days it felt like everything was falling apart. But it was during these moments of chaos that I had to dig deeper than ever before. The truth is, life didn’t just begin at forty. It took me to a crossroads, and at that point, I had a choice either stay stuck or find my resilience and push forward.

Overcoming Setbacks: Turning Struggles Into Strength

Along the way, many doors closed that I thought would be the ones leading me to my dreams. A car accident, a failed business, unemployment, another struggling business, and the journey toward parenthood that didn’t unfold as expected. Then there was cancer. Yes, cancer was added to my list of “99 problems.”

At the time, I could have let those setbacks define me. I could have stayed in a place of self-pity, feeling like a victim. But I didn’t instead, I chose to embrace the reality that these experiences, however painful, weren’t working against me. They were shaping me, teaching me, and preparing me for something greater. I found strength in the struggle and resilience in the face of adversity.

Shifting My Mindset: Seeing Adversity as Opportunity

Through it all, I had to reframe my thinking. Instead of seeing everything that went wrong as a personal attack, I learned to view it as something working for my good, even if I couldn’t understand it at the time. I embraced the belief that there was a silver lining, and that mindset helped me keep moving forward.

Resilience, as many experts agree, is a skill that can be developed over time, not just a trait you’re born with. According to the American Psychological Association, building resilience involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can help you overcome life’s challenges more effectively. You can learn more about building resilience here.

Adopting this perspective wasn’t easy. There were days when I was angry, frustrated, and exhausted. But I knew that staying stuck in those emotions wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I had to take ownership of my journey and recognize that the challenges were there to help me grow.

Letting Go: The Power of Releasing What No Longer Serves You

One of the hardest things I had to do was let go of the relationships, beliefs, and attachments that were holding me back. I had outgrown certain people, and even parts of myself, and it was time to move on. This wasn’t an easy decision, but it was necessary.

I set new boundaries with the people who were still in my life but needed to be kept at a distance. I let go of old dreams and expectations that no longer served me, opening up space for new opportunities. This was about making room for growth and stepping into a new chapter, even if it meant walking away from the familiar.

Embracing Vulnerability: The Journey Toward Personal Growth

There were many moments of deep vulnerability during this time. I cried, I questioned my worth, and I wondered if I would ever be enough. I felt like I was failing at everything, my business, health, personal life. There were days when I thought about giving up, feeling like nothing I did would ever bring me happiness.

But in that vulnerability, I found power. I realized that by allowing myself to feel deeply, I could heal and rebuild. Vulnerability became the foundation of my personal growth, teaching me how to embrace the messiness of life and still move forward.

Regaining Power: A Decision to Keep Going

Through all the hardships, one thing became clear: I wasn’t going to let my circumstances define me. I wasn’t going to let illness, failure, or disappointment take away my power. I made a conscious decision to keep going, to outlast the season of difficulty I was in, and to reclaim my strength.

The battles weren’t easy, and the pain was real, but I knew that if I didn’t fight for myself, no one else would. I took my power back, one small step at a time, and it was in those small, deliberate actions that I found the courage to keep moving forward.

The Lesson in Resilience: How Every Challenge Strengthened My Resolve

What resilience has taught me through all of this is that life isn’t about avoiding challenges; it’s about facing them with strength and courage. It’s about choosing to rise, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart. Resilience isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you build, step by step, through every setback and every victory.

Today, as I look back on my journey, I’m grateful for all the lessons, the hardships, and the moments that pushed me to grow. I know that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back, it’s about growing through what you go through. And no matter what life throws at me next, I know I’ll be ready, stronger and more resilient than before.

Ready to take the next step in your resilience journey?

Download the Rootless & Resilient Roadmap for practical tools and reflection prompts.